gruglysims: (Pine Valley Chronicles)
[personal profile] gruglysims


Warning: Nudity! Sex! Swearing! Not! Safe! For! Work!


Photobucket

Previous Entries: C.1., C.2., C.3., C.4., C.5., C.6., C.7., C.8., C.9., C.10., C.11., C.12., C.13., C.14., C.15., C.16.

Welcome to Chapter Seventeen of the Pine Valley Chronicles!

In the massive Chapter Sixteen, the Murphys fell to the zombie invasion... all except Andrew, who started working on a cure.

So, yeah. Who's in the mood for some science?

Photobucket
Photobucket

Andrew: Mm. Honey, you know what I want to do today?
Brandi: What's that, Andrew?
Andrew: Cure zombiism.

Photobucket

Brandi: .oO(I hope you don't.)

Photobucket

Collecting your thoughts?

Andrew: I'm afraid he won't take me seriously.

What, with that beard? How could he NOT?

Photobucket

Andrew: Hey, William, I've been thinking. How about we save the world?

Photobucket

Andrew: Saving the world starts at home, wouldn't you agree?
Valerie: ...brains?

Photobucket

Andrew: Come on in, don't be shy. We're good friends now.

Photobucket

Andrew: And just between friends, that's a nasty infection you've got going there.

Photobucket

Ew. No way would I have asked her inside to do this on my carpet.

Andrew: They just started passed a Neighbourhood Watch ordinance in Pine Valley, and I don't want them getting any funny ideas about me.



Huh, look at that. You're right!

Photobucket

Know what the huge Aspiration bonus is? He just gained a Good Reputation for atomizing Valerie. I think what that really means is that nobody is gonna talk smack about a crazy unabomber-looking dude with a disintegration pistol.

Photobucket

Brandi: Oh, baby, getting our neighbours eaten by flies makes me SO HOT...

It's not the strangest fetish I've seen around here.

Photobucket

Are you at least gonna sweep that up first?



No, eh.



Brandi: Oh... oh... oh my god... we need to kill... the rest of our neighbours...
Andrew: The zombified... ones... right?
Brandi: Sure... we can... start with them...

Photobucket

Brandi: I love a man who's not afraid to murder to get into my pants.

You should have a chat with William.

Andrew: Once I'm done, she can. I've got him on the line. Hey, William! So, I hear you're the SCIA man for the zombie case. How? I'm on the Council of Mad Scientists, dude, we know everything. Yeah. I was thinking... no cure for zombiism? That's really lame. I'm good with chemicals, and if I can hook you up with my mother, she's great with technology... what? NO, NOT THAT KIND OF HOOKUP. Christ, do you ever stop?
William: I'd stop for your mom.

Photobucket

Photobucket

Photobucket

Andrew's purchasing some samples of his own.

Photobucket

Rose Ng: -ruins the symmetry of my pics-

Photobucket

Wow, them's some crazy gadgets you got there. What are they for?

Andrew: A real cure will need to be an Aspiration Reward if we're gonna disseminate it properly. I need to figure out the mechanics of making a new one.

Sounds complicated.

Photobucket

And what's THAT for?

Andrew: That is my Energizer. I won't be sleeping for the next few years.

That sounds... fun...

Photobucket

Andrew: Fun? Oh, you have no idea how much fun this will be.

Photobucket

SCIENCE!

Photobucket

So, I take it you guys are going the potion route, huh?

Andrew: What was your first clue?

Photobucket

He added an entire floor to his house just to hold all this stuff...

Andrew: It's about time, too. What kind of mad scientist doesn't have an attic lab?

It only becomes a problem once you start calling it a lair.

Photobucket

Photobucket

Photobucket

Andrew diligently spends most of his time preparing both viruses and medicine, since an anti-zombiism formula will have to behave like both.



But he leaves himself some time for the finer things in life, too.

Photobucket

Andrew: -smashes his knee through the concrete divider- Brandi, will you marry me!
Brandi: Any man who could achieve such a feat, I would not dare disappoint.

Photobucket

I think you have a "proposing to terrible candidates for marriage" fetish.

Photobucket

Photobucket

And I'm surprised at you too, Brandi. You don't seem like the marrying type.

Brandi: He spends all his time upstairs, and his job pays the bills. I'm gonna fuck that nice secret agent guy while he's busy working.

...right, okay, that makes more sense.

Photobucket

Andrew: -is overpowered by the memory of murdering Valerie-

Photobucket

Someone's at the door...

Photobucket

Brandi: Hi. William, right? Andrew sent me out to let you into my pants. The house. Sorry.

Photobucket

William: Your fiancé and I have business to discuss, but first: YOU'RE SO FUCKING HOT BABY.

This isn't going to end well.

Photobucket

This isn't going to end well at ALL.

Photobucket

Brandi: So... how's about you and me break the bedroom furniture?
William: Are you crazy? I'm trying to save the world here! He'll work less effectively if he's pissed off. Come over to my place later.

Photobucket

Brandi: We could... do it on the easel...
William: That's physically impossible, I am so intrigued and turned on right now OH HI ANDREW WHO IS COMING DOWN THE STAIRS

Photobucket

William: For me?
Andrew: A nuclear-powered atomic dispersal unit, and a powerful odor-stimulating beam focusser.
William: Shwa?
Andrew: A blaster and a stink gun. Do try to bring these back in one piece, William.

Photobucket

Andrew: I feel like we got a good start on things today.
Brandi: Me too. Me... too.

Photobucket
Photobucket

Burning the midnight oil, William?

William: I need to get promoted. My bosses don't think zombies are that big a deal.

What do they think is a big deal?

William: Wiretapping our own citizens, maybe? I dunno.

Photobucket

...sigh. This is Tristen, William's ex-fiancé. She has no hair when she puts her outerwear on, don't ask.

Photobucket

Lately she's been stealing his paper, and then somehow cloaking it. Is she still mad about the breakup, or is there something more sinister going on?

Photobucket

Photobucket

Photobucket

William: My perimeter alarm went off! Children in danger!

Photobucket

William: Hi, Mrs. Raymond!
Nerissa: Brains! :)

Photobucket

William: Let's see how this baby works, Murphy.

Photobucket

I wish they wouldn't giggle...

Photobucket

Photobucket

Photobucket

William: Well. That was simultaneously the most disgusting and the most AWESOME thing I've ever done.
Nerissa's Hair: -lingers-

Photobucket

William: Sure is a great day to be alive, isn't it, Nerissa?

Photobucket

The Grim Reaper: YOU NEVER CALL ME ANYMORE. IT'S ALWAYS YOU, YOU, YOU. I FEEL LIKE YOU DON'T APPRECIATE ME.



Back from a hard day's work toppling SouthSimAmerican dictators?

William: They won't topple themselves!

They never get the chance!

Photobucket

Who's you?

Peter: Peter Reiner, secret agent.

Wait, aren't you the dude who was macking on Chelsea in Chapter Sixteen?

Peter: Never met a fourth wall you didn't want to break, have you?

Photobucket

Peter: -is SO stoked to look like such a douchebag-

Photobucket

So, William, how do you like your ashes: shaken, or stirred?

William: Does it look like I give a damn?

Photobucket

William: Hey, Madeleine? Madeleine? Awesome, glad I got through to you. Say, you feel like getting a bite to eat, maybe your brains fucked out?

Dude, you're aware that your entire little black book is full of ZOMBIE CHICKS, now, right?

William: Um, duh? Why do you think I mentioned "brains"?

Photobucket

True to form, Madeleine is lured.

Photobucket

William and Madeleine: FADA SOOLA GOR! FADA SOOLA BRON!
Tristen: I'm... kinda trying to kick your garbage can over, William. You're making this really awkward.

Photobucket

Madeleine: He can't do that, can he?

Stop fucking looking at me, I'm invisible.

Photobucket

Photobucket

Photobucket

...well. The disintegration pistol is a LOT more fucking disturbing. I didn't think that would be possible.

Photobucket

Peter: Hey, I have some questions about work.
William: Shoot.

Photobucket

Peter: That thing with the planes - we totally staged that, right?
William: Oh, fuck yes. Of course.
Peter: Squeee!

Too soon? TOO BAD.

Photobucket

Photobucket

William: MY GOD! Julius Caesar has been using my microwave!

Photobucket

William: FUCK YES! Some teenager I've never met was using this counter.

Does the fingerprint scanner ever actually produce conceivably possible results? Anyone? Anyone?

...Bueller?

Photobucket
Photobucket

Melanie: Say, Don... I never noticed how pretty your eyes were before.
Don: Wow! Hey, thanks Melanie!

Photobucket

Cameron: Alright, that's the final straw. It's fucking TIME.

Photobucket

Cameron: Hey, slutface!

Photobucket

Cameron: Let's see you cheer your way out of NEWTON'S FIRST LAW.

Photobucket

Whuck.

Photobucket

Don and Cameron: -pretend to cry-

Photobucket

Cameron: Hey, wanna fuck?
Don: HELL YES.

Photobucket

I realize it's because they're dancing, but I like to imagine Don's reached In the Zone levels in his own personal hobby: being a complete douchebag.

Photobucket

Don: Oh, baby, that necrosis tastes so good...

Photobucket

Adrian Ebadi: Is this where they're having the "Stand Around like a Complete and Total Douchebag" competition?
Peter Reiner: Whoah, wait: douchebag competition? Stand aside, coming through!

Photobucket

Adrian: I must say, you have really nice zombietits.

Photobucket

She rewards him with a closer look.

Photobucket

Adrian: Pull my finger!
Melanie: FUCK NIGHTTIME

This has been Non-Sequitur Theatre.



Wow, you got over Kaylynn pretty fast, Don.

Don: Who?

We've done that joke too many times, dude.

Don: What joke? Who?



He's a real winner, isn't he? Why are you doing this, Cameron?

Cameron: Promise you won't tell?

Promise.

Cameron: All the other zombie men...?

Yes?

Cameron: Their peni-

NEVER MIND IT'S OKAY.



They're fucking inside the foundation. It's the only place anyone can find some privacy.

Photobucket

It's that classic tale: boy meets girl, boy falls in love with girl, boy falls in love with girl's sister, girl becomes zombie, girl falls in love with another boy, girl kills other boy's zombie girlfriend.

Photobucket

Hi, bowlcut.

Justus Bertino: It's Justus.

No, it's definitely a bowlcut.

Photobucket

Justus: Coochie coochie... coo?
Melanie: What is this horseshit?

Photobucket

You'd better hurry, there's someone at the door.

Photobucket

Never mind, Don's taking care of it.

Photobucket

I don't know why, but Don is a LOT creepier in his bathrobe.

Photobucket

Adriana Gast: I just stopped by to tell you how fucking AWESOME you zombies are. I love your work!

Photobucket

Don: -attacks Adriana-
Adriana: ++
Don: ++

Photobucket

I swear, half the townies are already zombies.

Photobucket

Adriana and Adrian: -are in awe of the slag pile-



Don: Man, I'm so hungry...
Cameron: Oh! I know just the thing!

Photobucket

Rose: .oO(As far as deaths go, this is admittedly a pretty awesome one.)

Photobucket

Melanie: Wow, they have delivery too?

Photobucket

Melanie: Mmm, you look delicious.
Colby Wolosenko: Um... thanks?

Photobucket

This is getting to be a full-time job.

Photobucket

And they make an awfully effective team.

Photobucket

Shit. SHIT. Everyone stop moving for a few minutes, don't turn around. Please. PLEASE.

Photobucket

Oh well aren't you just the stupidest bitch alive.

Photobucket

Being a rich and famous artist wasn't a good enough reason to LIVE?



Chelsea: Man, you have got to get some sun, girl! You look like the living dead!

Photobucket

Cameron: Chelsea, Chelsea, Chelsea. Love the outfit; you look good enough to eat!

Photobucket

Chelsea: HAHA RIGHT YOU'RE A ZOMBIE I'LL BE GOING NOW

Photobucket

Cameron: Stupid is as stupid dies, sis!

Photobucket

What happened to that assault rifle you had?

Photobucket

Chelsea: I sold it back to the campus store at the end of term! And you wouldn't believe how cheap those bastards at the buyback program are!

No, I totally would, trust me.

Photobucket

Chelsea: Oh well. C'est la mort.

Photobucket

There's barely time to stop and reflect.

Photobucket

Melanie: -sniff- My little boy... he's all grown up...

Photobucket

Oh for FUCK'S SAKE you PEOPLE!

Photobucket

Allison Collins: Maybe I'll be safe in here!

Photobucket

Maybe not so much.

Photobucket

Justus: OUR HAIRS MUST MERGE

Photobucket

Yusun Young: Good luck getting my lipstick applicator out of your ass!

Photobucket

Chelsea: YOU HAVE LIPSTICK?! GIVE IT TO ME!

Photobucket

Cameron: I'm bored with zombies.

You think you are...

Photobucket

Chelsea: You can't fight in a business suit! You need some lacey underwear and a loose shirt, it really helps your mobility!

Photobucket

Chelsea: And mobility is going to be an important issue for you from now on.

Photobucket

Melanie: Oh my god! Some of them are getting not useless!

Photobucket

Rose: :[

I feel for you.

Photobucket

I liked you better before you died.

Photobucket

Allison: Zombie fake-out!

Photobucket

Holy unexpected, Batman!

Photobucket

Cameron: Put me down gently, I'm weak in the knees.
Don: Oh honey, I love you too!
Cameron: I meant that-
Don: -that your knees are literally weak, okay, I got it. Fuck.

Photobucket

WHAT THE FUCK DON

Photobucket

He seriously cheated on her the INSTANT they got engaged. Has that dude got game or WHAT

Photobucket

Cameron: I yank you kicking and screaming into the underworld, and this is the thanks I get? I HAVE NO ZOMBIE SISTER.

Photobucket

Cameron: We're THROUGH, Don! It's OVER! All three hours of it, shot to hell! After all the effort I put into our tiny, barely-happened-at-all relationship, and you go and betray our sacred bond?

Photobucket

Cameron: I WILL CUT YOU.
Don: O.O

Photobucket

Cameron: Now, go smash your head into that brick wall!
Don: What is that I don't even?

Photobucket

Chelsea: Dude... I don't know how she knew it was a romantic hug. They look the same.

Photobucket

What's wrong, Don?

Photobucket

See something you don't like?

Photobucket

Cameron: Fucking cheat on ME, will you?

Photobucket

Cameron: Let's see you hug my sister with a HOLE IN YOUR HEAD.
Chelsea: I don't see why that would be a problem, really.

Photobucket

Don: HOLY SHIT. Calm down! You want some candy? I can make you some candy! We have this machine it's really no troub-

Photobucket

Whuck.

Photobucket

I can't say he doesn't deserve it, after the mess he's caused.

Photobucket

Cameron: I'm glad I broke off our engagement :)

You broke off his HEAD!

Photobucket

Kiera: -drops off a magic lamp to congratulate the household on being so amazingly successful-

Do you know something I don't?

Next update: the resistance kicks into high gear, finally!

Expand Cut Tags

No cut tags

Profile

gruglysims: (Default)
gruglysims

March 2017

S M T W T F S
   1234
567891011
1213 1415161718
19202122232425
262728293031 

Most Popular Tags

Style Credit

Page generated Sep. 26th, 2017 09:41 pm
Powered by Dreamwidth Studios