gruglysims: (Pine Valley Chronicles)
[personal profile] gruglysims


Welcome to the Pine Valley Chronicles, an ongoing neighbourhood story in The Sims 2!
Warning: this journal may contain uncensored nudity, violence, profanity and sexual themes.




Previous Entries: C.1., C.2., C.3., C.4., C.5., C.6., C.7., C.8., C.9., C.10., C.11., C.12.

This update takes place entirely at Mount Noble University. There's no sex, and very little nudity; they've been cancelled on account of ZOMBIES.

In Chapter Twelve, Cameron Price betrayed her fellow dormies at Burke Hall and invited the zombies in. North Residence remains uninfected... for now.

I wonder what Chelsea's been up to. What have you been up to, Chelsea?



Chelsea: PUTTING A STUPID ZOMBIE BITCH BACK IN HER PLACE. UNDER THE GODDAMN GROUND.

Holy shit! Where did you get that gun?

Chelsea: Campus Store.



Melanie: Whoa, whoa, let's not be hasty now. Don't do anything you might regret later!

I think the insane cackling is a sign that she won't be regretting this, Melanie.

Plus you kinda ate her sister. And all her friends.

Melanie: Christ, is she still mad about that? That was, like, forever ago.



Melanie: OH MY GOD YOU *ACK* PUNCTURED *ACK* A LUNG! Do you know how high my health insurance premiums are gonna be now?!



I can't decide if this is hot, terrifying, or both.

Probably both.



Melanie: HADOKEN!

You are not a wizard.

Melanie: BULLSHIT UNIVERSITY EDUCATION



Melanie: Undeath... is... only... the beginning.



Chelsea: What're you gonna do now, bitch?
Melanie: Glitch out and disappear?

And she did.



Margaret Player: HELP ZOMBIES

Don't help the zombies! They're doing fine on their own, thanks!

Margaret: HELP ME THERE ARE ZOMBIES CHASING ME

That's better. If we let the language break down we're no better than monkeys or teenagers!



Chelsea: Zombie COWS, no less!
Douglas Davison: WHY IS SHE POINTING A GUN AT ME OH MY GOD
Chelsea: That's just what I'd expect a zombie to say!



Chelsea: DIE, ZOMBIE SCUM!
Douglas: Luke... help me take... this cow head... off.



Chelsea: This'll teach you to set off sprinklers and flirt with random people!



Douglas: I was walking... upright... you stupid... bitch!



Chelsea: Shit... you were, weren't you?
The Grim Reaper: I LIKE THE WRONGFUL DEATHS BEST.



Ratna Futa: Hi! Please don't eat me!
Chelsea: No worries! Welcome to Chelsea Price's Healthy Home for Not Zombies, where your brains are safe with us! Unless you're in a costume, in which case there's a good chance you're fucked.

Random Number Generator Fact: This dude is a pizza delivery person named Ratna. One of the other pizza delivery people is also named Ratna.

A GIRL THAT WILLIAM HAD SEX WITH.

Ratna: Before you ask, no. I haven't had a sex change.

Well of course you haven't! You'd have asked them to fix your face while they were at it.



Chelsea: YOU'RE NOT A NOT ZOMBIE!
Prof. Grayson: HOW DID YOU KNOW?!



Chelsea: Don't think I've forgotten that "B+" on my portfolio!
Prof. Grayson: It lacked direction and flourish!



Jerome Carlson: I never knew how much I needed a chick with a machine gun until I had one.



Professor Grayson: At least put away this damn book.



Ratna: I'm going to un-put-away all the books just to spite him!
Skylar: I WASN'T SNIFFING YOUR MATTRESS



I think I'm in love.



Ratna: The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog! :D



Skylar: Whoa, wait a second... right over him? That's pretty good, for a fox!



I'm with you, Ratna.



Nothing spruces up a new place like a tiny zombie graveyard.



Finally, some serenity.

Chelsea: They can't take the sky from me.





Chelsea: Ouch. Looks like the Simternational Space Station miscalculated its orbit.



Just your average college workstation.



Chelsea: My pathing is on fire.

Yeah, it does that.

Chelsea: Okay?



I've heard of people dropping their standards in crisis situations, but this is just ridiculous.

Jerome: Hey, man, that's not very nice. She's not that ugly.

I... no, never mind.



Tyler: I am reading this book. I am totally sitting here because I want to read this book. That is what I am doing.

I believe you.



...fuck, no, you're not getting me this time. *opens SimPE*

Mackenzie Almassizadeh: And he was all like "Nuh uh" and I was all like "Uh huh" and...
Geoffrey Kalson: Yeah, could you, like, move a bit to the left? No, your left. A bit more... ah... Yes. Go on.



Jerome: All my stinky all your books.





Chelsea's graduating, so it's time for you bums to go to a real graveyard.

A real graveyard with really deep graves, preferably.



Explain to me why they have to change outfits when the Young Adult and Adult models are identical?





Addison: Hey! Where'd the meals on wheels go?



Melanie: This guy looks like a douchebag. Let's do him first.

Agreed.



Darren Barrett I don't WANNA be in a horror movie! >:O



Melanie: Looks like you're the football today, Charlie Brown!



Melanie: Man! What is this place, Douchebags R Us?

Pretty much, yeah.



Melanie: I'll do this bitch instead, I don't wanna get addicted to douchebags.

Good idea. He's invincible while he's dancing, anyway.



Melanie: Ha! No way can you stand up from that angle!

Pure evil.



Roger: What's this all over my hands? Is this sweat? This had better fucking be sweat, buddy!



Shannon: YOU FORGOT TO SLIP ME THE ROHYPNOL!



Aurora: Ugh! Who in their right mind would want to touch you?



Shannon: Surprise! I keep a little extra ass whuppin' in all these pockets!



Wow, okay, if even the zombies think you smell bad...



Aurora: It's gonna take more than a handwipe to cure what ails you, girl...



Prof. Emily: Doesn't anybody answer the doorbell anymore?
Melanie: You want in? Fine. You're in. Just don't say I didn't warn you.
Prof. Emily: But you didn't warn me!
Melanie: I JUST TOLD YOU NOT TO SAY THAT!



Melanie: It's so nice to meet someone new :)

... Melanie?



Darren: SHANNON SMELLS BAD
Jordan: That's my fault?
Roger: HELP MY BALLOON'S STUCK HELP



Whoa guys, calm down. There's enough pancakes for everyone.



Sean: Christ, it's like Big Brother in here.



Celeste Mazza: It looks more like Hell's Kitchen to me.



Darren: I got to first base with a girl!
Jordan: Man, those dust clouds hide a lot!





Something on your mind, Sean?

Sean: Yeah. Her mind.



Roger: She's heavier than my usual kicky bag, but I think we can make this work!



Jordan: THIS IS FOR MY PARTICIPATION MARK!



Prof. Emily: OH, YOU JUST GOT SCHOOLED! BITCH!

Awesome.



Chin attack!



Wow... Prof. Emily is a TANK.



Prof. Emily: Come on, all of you! I'll take all of you on at once! BRING IT ON! BITCHES!



Roger: This old lady is starting to freak me out.



Jordan: THIS OLD LADY IS ALREADY FREAKING ME OUT



Prof. Emily: For your homework tonight, I want you to write me a five-page paper on at least fifty reasons why you don't fuck with Prof. Emily!



Don: I think we need to replace Jordan.

With what?

Don: With dead Jordan.



I think Prof. Emily might be willing to provide you with that.



Prof. Emily: I'M GONNA GET TENURE ON YOUR ASS! BITCH!
Shannon: Oh no, old people swearing!



Emily: OH YEAH! FEEL THAT? THAT'S MY BOOT GIVING YOU A NEW ASSHOLE, YOU FILTHY ROTTEN #%@#$@#%!
Roger: What could that word even be?



Prof. Emily: Oh, hi Roger! :) How did your exams go? :)



So... Roger.

Roger: Haha, fuck THAT. I'm not STUPID.



At least they can all agree that Shannons suck.



Huh. I guess Roger is stupid.

Shannon: And he stinks, too!

You're one to talk!



Jordan: I hope next time she beats me I get infected with professorhood!



Needless to say, Emily won again.



Don: This is all very familiar to me.



Pinball game... FOR YOUR SOUL.

Don: Get her, my pretties!
Sean: What, the cheerleader?
Shannon: Are you nuts?



Don: Aurora? My... pretty? Get her?
Aurora: Do I look like an idiot to you?!



Melanie: IF YOU'RE NOT GONNA TAKE HER AT LEAST GET OUT OF MY WAY



Jacqueline: Crouching tiger!
Kaylynn: Evident moron?



Kaylynn: Whaaaaaaaaaat.



Aurora: That is the slowest jump I've ever seen.



Kaylynn: Well, get ready for the fastest beatdown!



Melanie: I think I've found a new second-in-command!

What's wrong with Amin?

Melanie: Besides his hair and his face and his everything?



Don: -is innocent of any wrongdoing-







Cheerleaders.

Celeste: Zombies.

That too.



Jordan: Who knew the fifth time wasn't the charm?



Melanie: Alright, that's it. I'm tired of you wasting my time, and I'm really tired of your hair being cuter than mine. A good leader knows when to delegate...



Melanie: ...and when to downsize.



Jordan: Wait! Don't I get to make a speech about why I'm a fighter and I think I should stay in Hell's Kitchen?



Sorry Jordan. The tribe has spoken.

Jordan: Bitches threw me under the bus!



Oh, Melanie. You mischievious little imp.



You'll be missed, honey.



Skylar: Who will?

I guess you won't be missed, honey.



I suppose it's hard to concentrate on anything, with all that asswhuppin' going on.

Celeste: Can you guys, like, take this outside maybe?



Melanie: THIS IS WHY HENCHMEN GET SHOT GUYS



Meredith: I can't believe there was an opening in here! North Residence WHAATTT!



Meredith: It's a bit chilly, though. And... quiet.



Skylar: -slams Meredith's head through a concrete wall-



Was this intentional, or did the rest just rot off?



Jason: HA HA SHE TOTALLY PISSED HERSELF

Yeah, well, she also totally kicked your ass a while back so I wouldn't talk.



Farewell, nameless parrot. We hardly knew you. We didn't know you. Who were you?



Kaylynn: I have defeated your minions! Now you must face me!
Melanie: I'VE BEEN TRYING TO FACE YOU FOR HOURS! LET'S DO THIS THING!



Melanie: TASTE IN MY POWER!





It's okay, dear. You're still pretty to me.

And now you get to spread a disease! Cheerleaders are usually really good at that!



Don: I am become Don, destroyer of dorms. Look upon my works, ye dormies, and despair.



Don: EW WHAT STINKS



What else?

Addison Lum: Dammit! I knew I'd stay alive if I kept dancing! I should have listened to you, Steve Miller Band!



Meredith: OH MY GOD HER SMELL IS TRAVELLING ON THE DUST



Meredith: OH MY GOD IT'S IN MY NOSE



She might have won the battle, but she's still losing the war... against bad personal hygiene.



Meredith: Fuck, I didn't know it was "Kick a Ginger Day" already!





Oh, Shaun of the Dead.



KILLER BEES.











More! MORE!



Jacqueline: WHAT IS WRONG WITH THESE FUCKING TREES



I seriously have no idea what he's doing here.



But he looks satisfied with it, so whatever.



Melanie: -gently caresses Prof. Emily's cheek-

No, not really. Are you guys still that gullible? Jeez.



You fought the good fight, Em. Stand proud.



Prof. Emily: YOU SPELLED MY NAME WRONG ON YOUR FINAL PAPER. I HATE IT WHEN STUDENTS SPELL MY NAME WRONG ON THEIR PAPERS. IT MAKES YOU LOOK LIKE UNPROFESSIONAL ASSHOLES!

And bitches?

Prof. Emily: BITCHES!




Benjamin: Are you doing something different with your hair?



Vanessa's old room is now a shrine to the dearly departed Sharpe Sisters.

Because if anyone deserves commemoration, it's the people who indirectly caused the world to end.



Like one that on a lonesome road
Doth walk in fear and dread,
And having once turned round walks on,
And turns no more his head;
Because he knows a frightful fiend
Doth close behind him tread
.

Celeste: Except not at all like that. You know better than to fuck with me, right Don?
Don: Yes ma'am. I heard what the other cafeteria lady did with the macaroni and the arsenic.
Celeste: Good boy.



What is it with you dudes and your belly shirts?

Don: It's just so liberating! The feel of the wind on your skin... well, I used to be able to feel it, anyway. -sniffle- Aw fuck, now look what you did! And I bet you anything my tear ducts get stuck open.



Don: Now about that big black zombie pit I wanted...



See you in Pine Valley, asshole.

Next time: probably more zombies? Fuck off already.

Comments are always welcome on any entry, no matter its age, and all comments will likely be responded to.

You've been warned!


From:
Anonymous( )Anonymous This account has disabled anonymous posting.
OpenID( )OpenID You can comment on this post while signed in with an account from many other sites, once you have confirmed your email address. Sign in using OpenID.
User
Account name:
Password:
If you don't have an account you can create one now.
Subject:
HTML doesn't work in the subject.

Message:

 
Notice: This account is set to log the IP addresses of everyone who comments.
Links will be displayed as unclickable URLs to help prevent spam.

Expand Cut Tags

No cut tags

Profile

gruglysims: (Default)
gruglysims

March 2017

S M T W T F S
   1234
567891011
1213 1415161718
19202122232425
262728293031 

Most Popular Tags

Style Credit

Page generated Jul. 25th, 2017 12:35 am
Powered by Dreamwidth Studios